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Dumb Laws in Texas

State Seal of TexasFirst of all let me start this article with I cannot vouch that any of these laws or ordinances are still on the books today, but according to Dumblaws.com, these laws did at one time, actually exist.

That being said, let the fun begin!

Texas Laws:

  • It is illegal to sell your eye! (OK, but can I give it away?)
  • It is against the law to take more than three sips of beer while you’re standing. (After all, doing that repeatedly leads to falling down.)
  • You can be charged with a felony if you own or promote the use of of more than six… female pleasure devices. (Um, rhymes with Bill-bow.)
  • You may not shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. (Doesn’t mention anything about the third story and up.)
  • A recently passed law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hour notice of the planned crime. (So if anyone perpetuates a crime against you without that notice, they’re going to be in BIG trouble!)
  • The entire Encyclopedia Britannica was banned at one time in Texas because in it you would find a formula for making beer in your home. (Nobody could ever figure that out of their own… (hic) Excuse me.)

Local City Ordinances:

  • Abilene: It is illegal to loiter within the city limits for the purpose of flirting or mashing. (Dang, no taters for you tonight.)
  • El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are “required” to provide spittoons! Enough of them and large enough to efficiently contain expectorations into them. (There’s a dirty job for Mike Rowe to check out.)
  • Galveston: You have to obtain permission from the director of parks and rec before getting drunk in any city park. (WOW, I know lots of people that ignored that one, just sayin’.)
  • Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors (farts) may not be emitted while in an elevator. (OK, what if you fart and it doesn’t stink? Or, what if you fart outside the elevator, then drag it in?)
  • Temple: Cattle thieves, if caught, can be hanged on the spot. (I don’t know if it’s the law anymore, but it could still happen!)
  • Texarkana: You can’t ride your horse at night without tail lights. (Wonder where you put the battery?)

Fun stuff, I did try to find the Texarkana tail light law but couldn’t locate it. Don’t know for sure if it was ever there, but hey, it one of the few that makes sense on this partial list. If you would like to see them all, go to DumbLaws.com and click on the state you’re interested in.

Do you know of any good ones I may have missed?

 

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